Can I ever outgrow your Love PAPA?

Like me, I am sure you have heard over and over again that God loves you unconditionally. I sometimes struggle to understand what that truly means. I ask myself many times, How is the Almighty God able to love me even when I cannot love myself. 

You see, Once you start struggling to love yourself, You automatically begin to hinder yourself from receiving love. 

I guess that is why I question PAPA's love. Moments when I think and chastise myself saying; "How could you have done this? So despicable!" or "oh you young woman, You don't seem to know how to get it right do you?".. Harboring such thoughts, accusing oneself slowing turns a person to depression, self pity and gradually, the person slowly and painfully dies..from within.

Our merciful God loathes Self-Pity. 

What is Self Pity? 

This is the scenario where a person dwells on his sorrows, misfortunes, mistakes etc. Now, it is good to be conscious of the wrongs you have done, this means that your conscience (influenced by the holy spirit) is still very much alive! Yay! It is prompting you to to approach the throne of grace, to confess your sins so that you can still enjoy God's presence. 

The twist is that if you remain dwelling on them (past sins or mistakes), you make yourself incapable of receiving God's love, Mercy and forgiveness which we receive through his Christ Jesus on the Cross at Calvary.

I have asked the Lord this question; "Don't you get tired of me and my constant failures?"

The questions I received were: 

• "Why do you like to try to fit me in your box?"
• "Why do you try to liken my Love for you to that which you receive from your fellow humans?"
• "Do you really understand the meaning of UNCONDITIONAL love?"

Now, just imagine this, I ask a question and I get 3 questions back as a response. 

Is our God a typical Nigerian? Haha. Definitely Not. These questions made me laugh however, they scraped some scales that hindered the sight of my mind. Then the responses started to flow in:

- Madam, seriously, You keep trying to think that just because you gave into your fleshy desires,or lost your temper and said some unkind words to another being  that PAPA would say "Do you know what? I am done with this relationship! You Keep Hurting me! Why can't you just Love me!".. *sigh* 

--"Your flawed human relationships has tarnished the way you think of the Love I have for you my dear Child"..

...Where you love so that you can get that fancy good morning text, or a bunch of roses at your doorstep. These signs of affection are not wrong in itself but they should not be the reason why you should love in the first place. 

My Love for you is Unconditional..No condition. 

I loved you when you sought to kill me when I was a harmless infant and had me travel through the dessert to take refuge in a strange land. (Matt 2:13)

I loved you when you accused me of using magic when I performed miracles. (Matt 12:22-32; Luke 11: 14 - 23)

I loved you when you betrayed me at the garden with a Kiss. (Luke 22:48)

I loved you when you denied me (not once) in front of strangers.(Mark 14:66-72)

I loved you even after you had lashed and tore out the flesh on my human back with a whip mercilessly. (John 19:1)

I loved you when you spat on my face and served me blows.(Matt 26:67)

I loved you when you placed a crown of thorns on my head that dug deep into my skull.(John 19:2)

I loved you when you mocked and humiliated me amidst yourselves. (Matt 27: 27-31)

I loved you when you chose a thief over me and called for my death..death by crucifixion (the most shameful type of death). (Luke 23:18-20)

I loved you even in my weak state, where you placed a heavy cross on me and made me walk (though I fell along the way) the walk of shame right to Golgotha.(Luke 23:26)

I loved you still though you stripped me bare and nailed me to the cross in the presence of my beloved mother..Oh the grief and ache you caused her..did you ever think of that? (John 19:17-18; John 19:25-26)

I loved you still while you threw lots over what was left of my garments right in my presence. (John 19:23-24)

I loved you still while you gave me Vinegar when I cried out to you that I was thirsty.(Matt 27:34)

I loved you and forgave you still while I felt forsaken on the Cross.(Matt 27:46)

I loved you up until my last dying breath. (Luke 23:34; John 19:30)

I loved you while you pierced my lifeless body on the cross. (John 19:34)

I loved you while my body was placed in the cold tomb.. (Matthew 27:57-61)

I love you still while I descended to Hades/Sheol as I carried the weight of your sins.. and that Love for you I carried within me as I triumphed and freed the captives in Hades (Ephesians 4: 8-10, 1 Peter 3:18-20)

I loved you still while you rolled a stone thinking that you could trap me from keeping my promise. (Matt 27:60)

I loved you still while I left the grave victorious and you still doubted me! Oh you doubting baby Thomas! *chuckles* (John 20:24-29)

I loved you still when you were envious over your neighbor's new car as you have been waiting on me for a new one.

I loved you still when you allowed yourself to be consumed with anger by your colleague's attitude when it was an avenue for you to become more responsible.

I loved you still when despite my warnings, you went ahead to that place I told you not to go to and fell. 

I loved you still when you made promises to me and broke each and every one of them (in less than a week). 

I loved you still even when you questioned my existence due to the sufferings that came upon you as a consequence of your poor choices.

I loved you when you complained, when you were least grateful and when you were angry with me.

I loved you when you doubted my love for you and thought I had given up on you. 

How dare you!

How dare you think that despite all I went through for you that I could ever stop loving you? 

How dare you limit me to that of my own creature?

Oh My Dear Child..Even in death..death on the cross, I had loved you. Nothing you do can make me love you more or less. My love for you is ABSOLUTELY UNCONDITIONAL. 

I loved you and died for you even though I wasn't guaranteed that you would love me in return.

The reason why you are told to obey my commandments is so you can better understand me and allow yourself enjoy this Love I have for you which is naturally hindered by your sinful nature.

Regardless of your shortcomings, your failures, your complaints, your trials, your tears, your heartaches, your loss, your doubts and your feelings of being a complete absolute mess, remember this: that I AM the I AM; and I LOVE you still.💓