Oh Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?
PS: This is a post addressed to all in this time of Silence (the day after Good Friday), and especially to anyone who has lost a loved one.
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| Mother Mary with Jesus as a baby and same Jesus, Crucified. (Image from Pinterest) |
We just celebrated the passion of Christ and while I contemplated on this - the highlight of the Christian life (as without Christ, there is no Christianity), I wondered what could have gone through the heart of Mary; the Mother of Jesus and His beloved disciple, who stood at the foot of the Cross after witnessing the gruesome and agonizing death of our Lord.
The Not so pleasant News
Easter Sunday, the 12th of April 2020, will make it a month, my dear friend OG died. The news of her demise was one that shook me to my core. I recall breaking down to the point that I couldn't even stay sane on a work call, regardless of whoever was in it. I dialled her number to prove the news incorrect but it was switched off. I even sent a message to her number on WhatsApp (about two days after) ... "Won't you wake up?", but till now, she hasn't responded. How can this girl who was so full of life and on fire for God, just die? It didn't make sense to me. I would listen to multiple songs in various worship playlists, and in the middle of singing (we were told to praise God in the middle of pain right?), I would burst into tears and scream into pillows, as I dropped to the floor and wept. I wept. I truly wept.
Be Prepared... always
The day I heard of her demise (i.e. the 13th of March 2020) was a Friday, and as it is in the Catholic tradition, I made my way to church for the stations of the Cross. Literally a shadow of myself, I remember going into deep thoughts, as we prayed through the 12th station - Jesus dies on the Cross, this my OG died on the 12th day, what an irony 💔.
The words I read in the Pamphlet seemed as though they were a personal message from the Lord. It was the 13th day of the month, and the words of Christ (captured below) in the 13 Station were totally on point - they hit home, hard!
Christ Speaks:
The Sacrifice is done. Yes, my Mass is complete.
But not my mother's; and not yours.
Those you love will part from you, and grief will come to you.
You too will die one day - a day you do not know.
Are you prepared for it?
Man Responds:
Lord, help me to accept the partings that must come, from friends who go away, and most of all, My dear ones, when You shall call them to eternal life.
Help me to get ready, so that the D-Day, whenever it comes, will not be a shock to me.
I choked and could barely read out these words. It's one thing to read it normally as the expected response, but on this faithful day, these words were addressing me in the most personal way imaginable.
It hurt deeply. I ached so much that I began to feel faint. But as blunt as the words of Christ were to me at that particular point, a form of consolation accompanied them. It felt as though God Almighty, was addressing me which meant that He knew how I was feeling. I didn't feel alone in the pain. I read somewhere that God mourns with us when we are in pain and I believe it.
The truth - though it cut deep, felt like a surgeon's knife which cuts one open, to enable the surgeon to repair what has gone wrong within. And as expected, after my surgery with the Divine Surgeon, my healing began.
The Good News - You will Heal, eventually
Wounds heal, but not immediately. Learn to be patient and allow yourself to heal in time - God's time. Tomorrow will make it a month that my dear friend was called Home, and I still miss her. There are times I wish I could call her on the phone or chat with her and send ridiculous stickers. In what turned out to be the last chat I would ever have with her, I called her an Amebo - she likes gist 😅. I miss her claiming to be my virtual BBM Mum - always complimenting my looks and sharing her plans on how to inflate whatever bride price that was to be paid for me when it was time to get married (as it is in our native custom). I miss her praying with me and for me.
As the days go by, it gets easier to remember the good times & fond memories made with her. With God, all things are possible, and this includes healing from the shocking loss of a loved one.
You are not the first to mourn ... and you won't be the last
I wonder how the disciples felt when Jesus died. Imagine watching someone who you literally abandoned your trade, business and (in some cases) your family for, dying a horrible & shameful death.
They had just celebrated the feast of the Passover - thanking God for not allowing death to visit the firstborn sons of their lineage (during the plagues in Egypt), and then, in the twinkle of an eye, Jesus; the First Born Son of Mary is put to death.
The very Person, who told them that He is the Resurrection and the Life, the same person who raised another (Lazarus) from the dead, was being shrouded in linen and placed in a tomb - to be sealed. The mixture of emotions they would have felt must have been immense ... Confusion, Denial, Anger, Pain, Fear, Anxiety, More Pain, Loss, Grief ... and the list goes on. Can I identify with any of these emotions? Oh yes, I can. Can you?
God is Good & all Powerful, regardless of your Emotions
Like I said earlier, I believe God weeps with us when we weep over the loss of a loved one. He remains Good, and He alone knows how to use sorrow, to shape our hearts and bring forth Good. We often allow our pain to cloud our sight and this eventually leads to us losing sight of God.
While the disciples were probably burying their head in the ground - losing sight of who their Master was - even after witnessing the Transfiguration and probably trying to find a coping mechanism/Plan B to deal with what had just happened, the Pharisees were restless (they were planning on how to secure the grave of a dead man as they remembered the words of Jesus, stating that He will rise again on the third day). Pilate probably had no peace (he had just put an innocent man to death despite his wife's warnings of her nightmares), Peter's heart was wrecked (he lost the chance to accompany his Lord during His last hours on earth, despite professing undying love for Him - he had denied the Lord not once but three times), and Mary most likely couldn't sleep (the baby boy she bore and raised, has just been put to death in the most dehumanizing way possible, and she witnessed it all). Meanwhile, God Rested - He said that it was Good (Genesis 1:31) and it was finished (John 19:30).
Remember the God we commune with, is the Only One who death bows to.
The disciples and followers of Jesus, later on, come to realise that this death they had just witnessed, although sorrowful, was the necessary atonement for the sins of all of mankind. He died so that they (we) won't die (be lost to eternal condemnation - being unable to see God and dwell with Him). Later on, they realised as well that Jesus left the earth and descended to Hades (the place of the dead) to proclaim the good news to the faithful souls who died before Christ Jesus - for He is the only way to Eternal life. He went to liberate them proving that God is Good, Merciful & Just.
Does our God intend to dwell again with us?
Yes, He does. (Did you recognise that these words above, are from a song called - Is He Worthy?😏😇)
We were created primarily to have a relationship with Him. To experience and share in His blessings. We were literally created to enjoy God. Genesis 3:8 tells us that God walked in the Garden - to commune with His beloved creation (well His creatures had other plans and decided to hide 😞). As a result of the fall of Adam & Eve in the Garden, we all must experience an earthly death, even our Lord Jesus was not exempted. The Good news, however, is that this earthly death is nothing but a gateway to Heaven where we can dwell with our Heavenly Father, as was the original plan of our Creator.
This Good news was made possible through that Great Sacrifice on Calvary - the death of our King and Saviour, Jesus Christ. And because of this, we can boldly say the words of Paul in his letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 15:55-57);
"O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?.."
Take courage dear fragile hearts, It is not over until the Lord says it is. Believe that those who have left us here on earth, those who died in Christ, are with Him in Heaven. This the great consolation I hold onto for my dear friend - OG, that she is resting in the arms of the One she loved dearly while she was here on earth. I hope you too will be consoled by this same hope.
May the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, reign in our hearts and may the souls of all the faithful departed, rest in perfect peace, Amen.
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